


there's some salt to not winning, but losing still tastes pretty good

by celebreultimaverba



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Post-Finale, groundbreaking!, taako has at least one Feeling and actually knows what to do with it!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 07:07:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13782348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celebreultimaverba/pseuds/celebreultimaverba
Summary: Taako can, should, must, andwillwin this whole proposal race. Does Kravitz know that he's in it? No, but that doesn't mean Taako can't come out on top.





	there's some salt to not winning, but losing still tastes pretty good

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alwaysyourqueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysyourqueen/gifts).



> A birthday gift to my lovely Marisa!!! Don't read until you're an actual adult! There's fuck words in this!

Taako can, should, must, and will win this. He said it to himself, planned it out because he didn’t want to be an idiot, and so he’s just going to do it. That’s how these things work. Taako says he will, and he does. It’s called integrity, a characteristic that he has a fuckin’ lot of. Which is obvious in the way that he speaks, thinks, and behaves, clearly.

So, ignoring the whole, like, lying to himself thing, he _is_ going to do this. That’s a thing. He will win. The prize? Kravitz’s skeletal-sometimes, cold-usually hand. In marriage, or whatever.

Taako has stolen a great many objects in his lifetime—highlights include Magnus’ favorite belt, right off his pants, once, one of his sister’s skulls back when she’d died and tried to use her own bones to make cool artifacts, and half a company’s worth of Bureau of Balance paychecks from HR. Now, granted, the latter wasn’t addressed to him so he wasn’t actually able to use any of the checks, but the point was that he _had_ stolen them, and he _had_ gotten into HR via stealth, and then, in the interest of—Taako, really, and only Taako—he’d threatened to set them all on fire if he wasn’t granted the power back to go into the cafeteria kitchen and critique the “cooks” in there as they were making the food _he_ would be eating. “Nervous breakdowns” his fantastic elven _ass_ , Lucretia. So _what_ if he’d made that one halfling fella—whatever his name was—cry. Shouldn’t be in the kitchen if he can’t take the heat, and Taako is _very_ hot.

There was a point to that tangent.

Right. He’s stolen many impressive things, but for sure the most impressive thing he’s stolen in his long, long, century-extended life, is Kravitz’s heart.

He gags at actually _thinking_ that, like, for-real deffo gags, and closes the ring box in his hand with a satisfying _clunk_. It’s true, though—the reaper is gorgeous, and funny, and goth but like, in a cool way? Not like Barry’s goth. Taako _adores_ the asshole.

Which is why Taako _has_ to win this. He _knows_ that Kravitz is planning something big, because Taako’s passive perception and his investigation is fucking _bomb_ , and he fucking _knows_ that Kravitz, his sweet, perfect, gorgeous hunk of semi-undead man meat, is going to propose.

Flowers? Check. Talk of marriage? Fuckin’ check. Honest discussions about the future and expectations for their relationship? Sure, it _took a hot second_ for Taako to, like, be “vulnerable” and “not jump out the window whenever the word ‘love’ is mentioned in a non-critical situation” but he _did_ it, Lup, _thank you_ , so, like, big check on that bad boy.

Taako is going to beat the sappy bastard at his own fucking game. He is going to win, at proposals, forever. He has gotten a good goth-adjacent ring that goes great with with the engagement ring he’s picked for himself, though hasn’t bought yet because he wants to pretend like Kravitz might have some opinion to listen to about his ring. It’s shiny and cobalt, engraved with tiny raven’s feathers in Taako’s own design. He’d thought this shit _out_ , and he is gonna put his money where his beautiful red-lipsticked mouth is, and jump the gun, and propose to his boyfriend before his boyfriend can throw some huge, fun, fancy proposal that Taako will adore, and that’s all there was to it.

“Taako, are you dressed?” Kravitz calls from the other room.

“What would you do if I were the opposite? If I were _au naturel_ , as it were, waiting for you to come in and check on me, seducing you with only my _fantastic_ body?” Taako replies, deliberately pitching his voice seductively.

Kravitz sticks his head in right as Taako is stuffing the ring box into his purse. “I’d tell you that we have reservations. So put a pin in it. That— hm.” Taako twirls to show off the night’s Look, and Kravitz looks down at his own suit, the color of his tie, and hums. Taako knows he’s deciding whether or not the color clashes, and loves him for it, and also, for potentially the first time in his life doesn’t actually care what his arm candy is wearing. He thinks some part of that may be because his arm candy is soon gonna be his _fiancé_ , and after that his arm candy is gonna be his _husband_. It’s— very gay. Makes Taako feel some very gay feelings, what with his heart fluttering and whatall.

Kinda gross.

He takes Kravitz’s hand. It’s warm. Usually is, these days.

Kinda wonderful, also, though, a little bit.

“You look great. Reservations, right? Let’s go.”

Normally, Taako wouldn’t eat anyone’s cooking other than his own, Lup’s, and Ren’s, but he trusts Ren’s palate almost more than he trusts his own, and she’d recommended a place in Neverwinter, somewhat new, pretty small, and absolutely lovely. Taako doesn’t know exactly how he’s gonna propose, but he’ll definitely find some sort of window, get in there, sweep Kravitz right off his fucking feet, really just knock this particular ball out of the park, ignoring the fact, of course, that he is actually 0% heterosexual enough to do sports and feats like that. He’s 100% gay enough to propose to his boyfriend when a moment feels right, and hot damn, is Taako going to _do that shit_.

“That shit” being Kravitz, for, you know, the rest of his natural life and stuff.

He knows that Kravitz raises a—perfectly manicured, and Taako hates it a little bit—eyebrow at him saying “fuck it” to complementary/matching colors rules, but the reaper goes along happily enough, as Taako knew he would, because Kravitz is in love with him, and no, Taako, you were supposed to think that in a jokingly mocking way, not internally sigh dreamily.

It’s dark, dark stuff, whatever Kravitz has done to him. Making _Taako_ get _dreamy_. It could be illegal, and probably is. Stockholm syndrome or something, though, because Taako is kinda into it at this point. Kravitz is an excellent manipulator, with his soft smiles and caring about how Taako is feeling and being patient when Taako had trouble with the whole saying ‘I love you’ thing, tricking Taako into being a fuckin’—competently emotionally healthy adult in a healthy relationship, gross—so Taako will not be reporting his numerous and horrendous crimes to the authorities.

The date is pleasant. Or, well, no, bad word choice. It’s fucking perfect. They usually are, but this one more than usual. Kravitz’s hand is warm in his, and it’s approaching dark as they’re walking there, click-click of Taako’s heels pairing perfectly with the returning warmth in the air and the sunset colors filtering through clouds to seemingly bathe the entire world in pink, an aesthetic that Taako is _very_ into. He feels existential and full and _so_ in love, with Kravitz and kind of with the world he’d landed in, and considers proposing right then and there. Ultimately, he decides that it’s not right, because it’s a bit embarrassing in public like it is, and he may get his skirt dirty.

The restaurant lives up to Ren’s hype, and Kravitz sits patiently across their small, two-person table as Taako compliments their chef, having stolen some of Kravitz’s entrée, as well, and the tips of his ears go red slowly as he realizes that Kravitz is staring at him with love clear on his face, even as he talks about something that Kravitz doesn’t really have as much passion for. It’s intoxicating.

He feels entirely drunk by the time they leave the restaurant, a knockout cocktail of two glasses of wine, a warm hand in his, and love so sweet it’s swirling in his stomach. It’s not entirely the alcohol because two glasses would have only made him tipsy but Taako is giggly and leaning heavily against Kravitz, who has his hat tucked under his arm for Taako, the gentleman. Taako _would_ be embarrassed but then also he’s not, because he’s super in love, and fuck, he’s gonna _marry_ this man.

“—and, okay, then, listen. Listen. Taako, are you listening?”

As if Taako would be doing anything else, face scrunched up and pressed up against the sleeve of Kravitz’s suit jacket because he’s actually _crying_ giggling as Kravitz explains how to best torture a waiter or cook that you have beef with on their scenic route home. “I’m— fuck, yeah, Kravvie, I’m listening,” he manages.

“Then, Taako, after you get the cheese, and you get it grated into the bowl at your table. You have to eat it with the salad fork, okay?”

“—O-Okay. Yep. I’m following.”

“After you get the bowl full of cheese, you have to look up at the waiter, and you have to ask for coleslaw.”

“Mhm,” Taako hums, trying to get a fucking hold of himself.

“You— this is _so_ important. You tell the waiter, oh, this is _so_ important. I _have_ to have it fresh-squeezed.”

Taako feels his soul leave his body. He actually has to stop walking and bury his face into Kravitz’s _clothing_ because he starts laughing so hard that it’s probably counting to his abdominal muscles as exercise. Kravitz laughs along with him, but Taako is fucking _incoherent_.

When he opens his eyes—comes to, perhaps, because it fucking feels like he was close to passing out with that pissfest of a giggle, Kravitz is holding a ring.

Taako wipes his eyes of the tears and watches, dumbstruck, as Kravitz gets down on one knee.

“You— you— I saw the receipts for all the flowers, you were planning something big,” he accuses, breathless from laughter. He feels like he’s fucking glowing, and doesn’t physically remember how not to smile as wide as he is.

Kravitz gives him an answering smile, so wide and genuine and _in love_ that Taako is already nodding, literally just wanting him as his husband already. “I was considering it, but— then I thought about it, and, I thought you’d be happier with a small proposal, and then a big party _after_ the fact. So, Taako, just between us— will you marry me?”

Taako drops to his knees, completely uncaring of the skirt, and flings his arms around Kravitz’s neck, murmuring, “Yes, yes, of course, yes, please.”

It’s a gesture he hadn’t expected, a perfect little thing that he hadn’t even realized would be perfect. Maybe it was perfect because it was Kravitz, maybe it would have been perfect no matter what, but, gods, fucking— a small proposal, no one but him and Kravitz. No pressure or nosy passerby, none of anyone else’s fucking business. No one but Kravitz needs to hear Taako’s “yes, yeah, yes, I love you,” because that’s just for Kravitz, and Kravitz is just for Taako, arms wrapping around him in a hug and the answering “I love you”s that are for Taako’s ears only, so much love in it that Taako could die, and, fuck, like, it’d _still_ be his because Kravitz was kinda in charge of that whole deal.

Taako’s, like, always super enjoyed having things all to himself.

He _really_ likes having this love all to himself. Super into that one.

They don’t kiss and it’s alright, because Taako is a great kisser and he doesn’t think that it’ll be possible to kiss as good as his brand requires when he literally cannot close his mouth for smiling. Instead, he just _clings_ , loving Kravitz, enjoying the feeling of being able to do this privately, getting hugged by _Krav_. It’s so fucking good. He doesn’t cry, but jeez and _crackers_ is it a close thing.

They eventually pull away from each other slightly, and Taako thinks _fuck it_ —count it, Taako Original Quote™—and presses his lips to Kravitz’s, and, oh, right. Right, right, yeah. Taako’s a _great_ kisser, and this kiss is great despite the whole unable to control his facial muscles thing, because he’s kissing _Kravitz_. So, like, every kiss forever is going to be fucking great from here on in because Kravitz is gonna be his fucking _husband_ , like, there’s gonna be a metric _shit ton_ of kissing happening.

Taako gets some of it done right there, in the park on the bridge over the creek, half-moon shining on the water and turning it to silver that’s still less brilliant than the ring he still hasn’t slipped on his ring finger.

Which reminds him, actually, after he’s kissed Kravitz long and hard enough that he needs a legitimate break in order to live to keep kissing him.

“You do know I’m gonna have to exchange this ring for another one, right? I’ve already picked the perfect one for my whole aesthetic. Goes with yours.”

Kravitz grins. “Yeah, I know you will, I was assuming as much.” He pauses. “Wait. _My_ ring?”


End file.
